October 30, 2020

How To Cope When A Family Member Says They’re Voting For Trump

Let me start by saying, I get it. I understand the confusion. The anger. The heartbreak.

Someone you thought was a good and kind person has revealed themselves to be… something different. Someone you love has exposed their support for or tolerance of bigotry, hatred, selfishness, narcissism, bullying, racism, sexism, abuse and violence through their support of Trump.

Maybe you found out directly. Or maybe you always had a hunch but were never quite sure. Regardless of the way you find out, the realization is, quite simply, devastating. Horrifying. Confusing. Embarrassing. Maddening. Demoralizing.

I know. I get it. Truly, I do. And sadly, so do plenty of other people.

So here’s the reality you’re – that we’re – currently facing: someone we love is supporting Trump.

So what the hell do we do about it?

Assuming you’ve tried to have productive conversations, tried to reason with them about all the awful things Trump has said and done, all the terror he has and is raining down on us, begged them even to be reasonable, they still aren’t changing their mind. They are voting for this monster.

So what do you do about it? How do you make sense of it? How do you cope?

Well, if you’re like me, you go through the stages of grief:

Denial: Surely they can’t really be voting for Trump. They’ll change their mind.

Anger: WTF are they thinking?! How could they? How can they look the other way while this monster bullies and lies while people are dying – DYING – by the thousands every day because of him?

Bargaining: Maybe if I wear enough Biden/Harris t-shirts and post enough articles to Facebook, they’ll change their mind. (Nope, they won’t.)

Depression: I will never get over this. Never.

Acceptance: This person is not who I thought they were.

Wash. Rinse. Repeat.

It is a complete and total mindfuck. And it’s exhausting.

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