Orlando Scandrick, an utterly average cornerback who played 10 utterly average seasons for utterly average Dallas Cowboy teams. He comes to Philly this season, gets waived, and goes on Undisputed with Shannon Sharpe and Cowboy lover Skip Bayless to talk shit about the Birds.
Then he has the AUDACITY to post this after the Eagles lose to the Seahawks:
I’ve found that if you take the famous Clark Griswold rant from Christmas Vacation, but replace his boss Frank Shirley with Orlando Scandrick, the quote still works perfectly:
“Hey! If any of you are looking for any last-minute gift ideas for me, I have one. I’d like Orlando Scandrick, right here tonight. I want him brought from his happy holiday slumber over there on Melody Lane with all the other rich people and I want him brought right here, with a big ribbon on his head, and I want to look him straight in the eye and I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-ass, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey shit he is! Hallelujah! Holy shit!”